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这些都没有显著提高我对他们的评价。
每当遇到一个在我看来头脑稍微清楚的大人时,我就拿出随身带着的我那第一号作品来测试他。
我想知道他是否真的有理解能力。
可是,不管我测试的人是谁,他或者她都会说:“这是顶帽子。”
因此,我也就不和他们谈大蟒蛇啊、原始森林啊,或者星星之类的事。
我会把自己降低到他们的水平,和他们谈些桥牌啊、高尔夫球啊、政治啊、领带啊这些。
于是大人们就十分高兴能认识我这样一个通情达理的人。
Chapter1
OncewhenIwassixyearsoldIsawamagnificentpictureinabook,calledTrueStoriesfromNature,abouttheprimevalforest.Itwasapictureofaboaconstrictorintheactofswallowingananimal.Hereisacopyofthedrawing.
Inthebookitsaid:"
Boaconstrictorsswallowtheirpreywhole,withoutchewingit.Afterthattheyarenotabletomove,andtheysleepthroughthesixmonthsthattheyneedfordigestion."
Ipondereddeeply,then,overtheadventuresofthejungle.AndaftersomeworkwithacoloredpencilIsucceededinmakingmyfirstdrawing.MyDrawingNumberOne.Itlookedlikethis:
Ishowedmymasterpiecetothegrown-ups,andaskedthemwhetherthedrawingfrightenedthem.
Buttheyanswered:"
FrightenWhyshouldanyonebefrightenedbyahat"
Mydrawingwasnotapictureofahat.Itwasapictureofaboaconstrictordigestinganelephant.Butsincethegrown-upswerenotabletounderstandit,Imadeanotherdrawing:Idrewtheinsideoftheboaconstrictor,sothatthegrown-upscouldseeitclearly.Theyalwaysneedtohavethingsexplained.MyDrawingNumberTwolookedlikethis:
Thegrown-upsresponse,thistime,wastoadvisemetolayasidemydrawingsofboaconstrictors,whetherfromtheinsideortheoutside,anddevotemyselfinsteadtogeography,history,arithmeticandgrammar.Thatiswhy,attheageofsix,Igaveupwhatmighthavebeenamagnificentcareerasapainter.IhadbeendisheartenedbythefailureofmyDrawingNumberOneandmyDrawingNumberTwo.Grown-upsneverunderstandanythingbythemselves,anditistiresomeforchildrentobealwaysandforeverexplainingthingstothem.
SothenIchoseanotherprofession,andlearnedtopilotairplanes.Ihaveflownalittleoverallpartsoftheworld;anditistruethatgeographyhasbeenveryusefultome.AtaglanceIcandistinguishChinafromArizona.Ifonegetslostinthenight,suchknowledgeisvaluable.
InthecourseofthislifeIhavehadagreatmanyencounterswithagreatmanypeoplewhohavebeenconcernedwithmattersofconsequence.Ihavelivedagreatdealamonggrown-ups.Ihaveseenthemintimately,closeathand.Andthathasntmuchimprovedmyopinionofthem.
WheneverImetoneofthemwhoseemedtomeatallclear-sighted,ItriedtheexperimentofshowinghimmyDrawingNumberOne,whichIhavealwayskept.Iwouldtrytofindout,so,ifthiswasapersonoftrueunderstanding.But,whoeveritwas,he,orshe,wouldalwayssay:"
Thatisahat."
ThenIwouldnevertalktothatpersonaboutboaconstrictors,orprimevalforests,orstars.Iwouldbringmyselfdowntohislevel.Iwouldtalktohimaboutbridge,andgolf,andpolitics,andneckties.Andthegrown-upwouldbegreatlypleasedtohavemetsuchasensibleman.
她堂堂第一杀手兼天才药剂师穿越成懦弱痴傻的废材也就算了,为毛还是个半人半妖,半人半妖她也忍了,可那两个未婚夫是个什么鬼?渣男未婚夫要退亲,可以,拿点银子来,保证退。毒女要求比武抢渣男,不用比,给钱她就卖。两国皇子来求亲,好说,有银子可以考虑。洞房篇龙凤床上某男正压着某女,怀中的女子突然发生了变化。看着床上那只火红的狐狸,某男双目喷火,白狸儿,给我变回来。某狐翘了翘尾巴,凉凉地瞥了眼暴怒的某男,一脸无辜,不好意思,变回去的技能我没有学。...
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